20 Secrets of Successful Single Motherhood, Part 1
Posted: Wednesday, July 12, 2006
by Samantha Applewhite
Successful Single Motherhood
Single moms are often viewed in a negative light in our world. Regardless of the circumstances of their marital status, whether it be by choice, death, divorce, or abandonment, single moms struggle with the stigma of being husbandless. Single mothers do not have to be sentenced to a life of poverty and eternal struggle. There are ways to be successful and thrive as a single mother and create a healthy and happy home atmosphere.
- Pick your battles. With the kids, over clothes, food, bath time, and friends with your Ex over child support, child rearing, and visitation with Public Service Agencies over paperwork, caseworker attitudes, benefits. Finally with your extended family over living up to their expectations and holidays.
- Prioritize your life. Decide on five important areas in your life (i.e. yourself, children, career, social life, church, volunteering, etc.). Put them in order from most to least important and within each area decide what activities you normally engage in, then prioritize. If it is not a priority, say ‘no’. Decide later if it is worth adding to your list of priorities.
- Stay Focused. Set goals. When you get sidetracked get back on track. Post your goals, daily routines, and appointments where you can see them.
- Ask for help. From trusted family and friends with the children, automobile maintenance and repair, occasional financial obligations, and limited decision making (advice)
- Talk out your feelings. With trusted friends or a counselor. Bottled up emotions will eventually explode. Get them out ASAP!
- Step back when overwhelmed. It is better to walk away for a little while than to stay too long and overload. Know when to say when.
- Take a day off (forget responsibilities). It’s okay to take a day for yourself. If you feel too guilty, take a half-day. Those few hours will do wonders for your soul. Use the time to pamper yourself. When the mommy feels good, everyone else feels good too!
- Have dreams, set goals. Life without dreams can be hopeless so dare to dream. But don’t just stop there. Set attainable goals and remember to note the details of those goals in the process. The when, where, and how of the goal will keep you on track in your effort to reach them.
- Maintain friendships. Friends are so important. Don’t forget the old ones and never be afraid to make new ones. They enrich your life and help you remember that you are still an adult. Another important thing about friendship is learning how to be a friend. There is trust, loyalty, and commitment involved and you must possess these traits for long lasting friendship, but it is worth it.
- Realize the freedom you have. Being a single mother gives you so much freedom. You make the decisions and you don’t have to answer to anyone. You can pick up and go when you want to (with careful planning) and you are free to be or at least discover who you are as an individual. Take advantage of your freedom.
Copyright 2006, Samantha Applewhite
Samantha Gregory-Applewhite is a writer and former single mom. Visit her website to learn more about effective ways to manage life as a single mom. She is the author of 100 Secrets of Successful Single Motherhood: A Guide for Christian Single Moms. Get the book and sign up for the monthly newsletter The Single Mom’s Free Resources at www.96singlemomsecrets.com.
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Top-level comments on this article: (5 total)Yes alot I already have done I am actually having to do a reserch paper and I have chosen to do it on being a single mother I was looking for an internet source and I found yours thanks
This is a great article . It helped me so much! Now, i think after reading this i can be a better mom to my daughter and son . Thanks so much :)
I've been a single mom for the past 14 years and with God's help I, too, have been a successful single mom!!!
Iam taking it one day at a time.Four days before i gave birth to my son my partner beat me up.I made a decision to be a single mum and i know i will be successful.
this was inspiring, as a single parent l have actualy come to realize that you can juss do better and make your kids have a better life. Dreams are there to show the way and they can be materialised. I want to give my two boys the best to be a role model. thanx for this wonderful article lm off to achieve greatness
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